He is good, so good

Knowing that someone has your best interest in mind allows you to find peace in the midst of chaos.
I find comfort in knowing that God is so good to me even when i cannot find peace within my own understanding. I am going through a lot of changes that all leave me wondering what will happen in the near future. A lot could change at this point and although my heart knows what I want, I cannot forget to ask God what is best. I am tired of trying to figure out my future alone.
I wish I could know what was going to happen, but I believe the adventure is in the journey you take to get there. I want to remember I cannot speed life ahead just to reach the eventual point I want. Instead I must take things daily knowing that small changes will move me in the direction I want to go. I am working on being open to whatever plan God has for me.
When I try and take control it only leads to resentment when he closes a door on my dream. The only thing that keeps me going in these situations is to know that he is good, sooo good to me. He will never leave me and always knows what I truly need. Although I can plan exactly what I want with school, relationships, and timing I know that he can see the whole picture.
Patience is something I am continually learning and it is shaping me into a better person. It's not easy, and definitely not something I would choose for myself, but it is what I need. Sometimes what you need and what you thought you needed are completely different.
Yet those things you didn't know you needed are always the people, situations, and choices that change your life.

Anxiety is the absence of faith

I have always struggled with anxiety. I used to say that i suffered from it but i have come to realize that it is more of a faith based problem than anything else. When you struggle with anxiety you are really lacking in belief that God has your best interest in mind. You feel like by some human power you'll be able to influence your situations and make yourself feel more in control. God calls us to give up our control and rely on him to provide for our every need. Although i have been raised with this mindset my humanly efforts often times take over and I try to plan each and every step.
There is such freedom that comes from giving your control to someone who loves you more than you could ever imagine. He will not lead you down the wrong path and will always know what is in your best interest. When you try and control things you may not understand that what is best is not what you would have thought. I am looking at colleges to transfer to and I would like to go somewhere that im comfortable. Although this is my desire i feel like God is taking me other places. This requires me to give up my own wants and lay them down to him no matter where that is, he will be faithful.