Have you ever had something inside you tell you to make a certain choice? A little voice that gives you the ability to decide between right and wrong? Sometimes we don't always take the "right" action but in any case we have all experienced that faint voice or feeling that guides us. Many people deem it as their inner spirit but i know that it is much bigger and more wise than i could ever take credit for.
Today in church i flipped through past pages in my journal and i realized how much i have been through since it’s beginning. My first entry was in late March and i was only days away from leaving to live in Florida for 6 months. Wow time sure does change things! As i continued to flip through entries i saw a story unfold of God's provision.
There was so much pain in my writing, questions unanswered and a striving for any sort of peace. In these few months i got a crash course in God saying "no" to the things i thought were right for me. I laughed as i stubbornly insisted that i knew what was right. I am so grateful that he can see the bigger picture and know what will ultimately bring me the greatest fulfillment.
If i had it my way i would have lived in Florida going to bible school, or spent the summer in India/Thailand helping out in the slums. Although both are great options, the opportunities and people i would have missed out on would be quite a loss. As a stubborn child of his im slowly learning that even when i cannot see the reasoning behind a closed door there is always a better one open that i was blind to see before.
I silently apologized for the ear full that God got many nights when i felt like he had abandoned me. I am greatful that he never forget's and is always lovingly going to direct my paths.
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