God's destiny

Often times throughout our life we find that our plans do not always turn out how we had envisioned they would. We get let down, pushed back and redirected more times that we’d like and somehow there’s suppose to be a plan through all of the madness. During this past year I’ve experienced more redirection than I thought one could handle in a lifetime. Trying to make my own plans and figure out my life has proved to cause more anxiety than peace. Gradually God has been teaching me that sometimes when we feel like we are out of control that when we’ve arrived at the right place. Giving up our rights allows him to come in and work out the details that are impossible for us to fully understand.
For the past several months my mom and I have been planning to go to Haiti with the united foursquare mission organization. She was going to help out with shot clinics and I was going to work with the children in the orphanages. We had a lot to do in preparation for the trip; several shots were needed, finances, and prayer was constant. After my dream of spending the summer working in Thailand and india died I was fully aware that it was because God had plans for me to serve elsewhere. As the trip got closer so did the nerves and the realization that we would soon be in a very politically corrupt and demonic country. Prayers and supporters were very dear to our hearts during this time and we saturated our minds with God’s word. It was getting close and during the week prior to departure my mom had been suffering from a bad stomach ache and blackouts which was most likely due to the medication in our systems. The morning of our departure I took a morning prayer run to clear my head and hopefully start our trip out right. At PDX we unloaded our 5 very heavy bags packed full of medical supplies, bedding, 30lbs of pasta/snacks and the most grungy clothes we own. Our bags were packed for one thing and one thing only; hard work! Our goodbye was a mix of fear and excitement as we headed off for our 10 day adventure of a lifetime.
The morning went smoothly as planned, sharing a small breakfast at the airport we boarded our plan to LAX. Once we landed we had a two hour layover and munched on some less than enjoyable airport chilies to-go. Our next flight would take us to Miami for the night and we would meet our team to go to Haiti the next morning. On the flight to Miami my mom started to feel worse than she had at home and I sympathized with the amount of pain she was in. I carried on a conversation with a nice lady next to me from florida and and out of nowhere I felt incredibly ill. My stomach cramped up, throat hurt, and my body ached, none of which I had experienced before the trip. I figured it was nerves or my body being tired from traveling. I tried to keep a conversation going with her but I truly felt awful. When our flight landed we were both visibly very sick. It seemed this was an attack of the enemy and if we pushed through and got a good night rest we’d feel better. Walking through the airport to the baggage claim we were in tears from the pain. It was about 10:30 east coast time and we were ready to get in bed. The worst part about the night was when our bag never made it to Florida. After waiting in line to report our missing luggage we took the hotel shuttle to the embassy suites. Our first night in the hotel was a mix of extreme illness and frustration. We contacted the team leader and told him about our strange symptoms. He agreed that we were being attacked by the enemy and our sickness was probably a 24-hour stomach bug. He told us to rest for the night, prayed over us and told us it was possible to catch a later flight to port prince. The next morning came much too slowly as I tossed and turned all night with major pains. Day two was worse than the first and it made everything more overwhelming that we were sick across the country with no hope to get drastically better in time to fly out to Haiti in time. My mom called the leader and sadly told him that we were unable to fly. He said that the team didn’t want to get infected by our sickness and that the hurricane wasn’t going to allow planes to fly into Haiti after that night. Our dream was ripped away as quickly as it seemed to happen in the first place. We felt like failures for not making it to our destination and making matters worse we were stuck in a Miami airport hotel with the stomach flu. Ordering in white rice and egg drop soup was the only food we could stomach in two days. Those 48-hours felt like a blur that were both emotionally and physically draining. My mom and I didn’t know what our options were at this point and were troubled that we had to tell our supporters back home the bad news. We used the business center downstairs to search for options on what we could do. We found several ideas but all were extremely expensive. Coincidentally i clicked on a website and found out that Miami was a large hub for a lot of cruises to disembark from. I looked through the different ships for hours comparing prices and dates. I needed to find one with very narrow specifications. It had to leave within the next two days out of the Miami port and it needed to be as cheap as possible. There were a few available but my mom was convinced that she wanted to go home. I was already so disappointed with the outcome of our trip that I couldn’t imagine turing around and going home right away. Determined not to fly home we felt mobile enough to check out of the embassy suites and try to rent a car. To my disappointment all the cruise lines I thought were available the night before ended up being booked and our best option looked like staying in fort Lauderdale for a few days at a hotel to relax a bit. At the airport we were hurried around to several rent-a-car agencies where we ran into trouble at each one. We didn’t bring our insurance card because we were going to Haiti and they wouldn’t rent us a car for less than 600 dollars. Our options seemed to be running out and this was where we hit rock. I decided to call the cruise line one more time out of desperation and to my surprise they had ONE cancellation for the carnival destiny which was leaving the next day out of Miami. I told my mom and she was very skeptical because she feared the messege it would be send to all the people back home. It took a few hours and a lot of financial planning and tear of exhaustion to figure out that it was the cheapest route in this situation. We called the cruise line and booked our trip for a 5-day carribean cruise!
The next day it was off to port as we loaded our 5 huge bags full of grungy work clothes onto the boat. We were not at all packed for a sunny cruise full of glamour and dress-up nights. On the contrary; we were ready for mosquitoes, mud, and equipped ourselves for such conditions. The boat was lively and as soon as we boarded we realized this wasn’t going to be like anything else we’d ever experienced. As much as I love to write I cannot paint a clear enough picture of our time on this boat. It was a mix of learning experiences, deep healing, and amazing bonding with my mom. Not all of it was so serious though, it was a whole lot of fun despite the fact that our stomachs were still queasy and the endless buffets didn’t help out any. The ship was so much fun, there was always something to do. My mom and I decided to make the most out of it and experience everything that we could. From endless shows, tours, and dinners we were having a blast. I wondered why God had us on this ship and the more we were there the more I understood.
The people that worked on the boat had such hard jobs and were invisible to most of the guests. They were ordered, pushed, and ignored all while performing their thankless job. I learned that a kind word, a helping hand, and a bit of kindness can go such a long way. It only takes a second to either bring someone up or tear them down and it’s up to you which one to do. By spending a little extra time getting to know someone you realize that everyone has a story to tell and that you can learn a lot by listening. We made many friends that worked on the ship and a few very special people that ended up being on the boat at the same time as us. On our first departure my mom and I went climbing up a waterfall, and ventured through the rainforest in Jamaica. Everyone that lived here had a contagious attitude to not worry about tomorrow. It seemed like they were content with life at the very moment they were alright with life as it came to them. This was such a refreshing change from the chaos I usually find my mind fretting about. It was a true “don’t worry, be happy mentality.” Leaving the island I proudly bartered with the locals and got some art for my new apartment. The next day we were off to the Cayman Islands for more sun and another adventure. When we arrived we decided to skip shopping for the day and spend our time doing something that we’d remember. We went on a local tour where we got to feed, snorkel and swim with stingrays. The water was unimaginably crystal clear as the heat of the tropical sun beat down heavily on us. It was a perfect day to be in the water and I got to both hold and pet a stingray! It was softer than I thought and amazingly peaceful to be in the same place as these amazing creatures. Our time on this picturesque island was too short and we were whisked on board for more cruise time fun. It was the last two nights and the days seemed to get shorter as we had more fun. We gambled and proved to have no luck whatsoever, attended a comedy show, delicious dinner of endless options and ended the night with a little disco party. The next day was a sea day and we lounged out by the pool, played put-put and just rested. My body was exhausted from staying up to see the breathtaking sunset earlier that morning. Suddenly it was our last night and even though it had been a short time spent on the boat we felt like we made relationships that would leave lasting impressions long after our return home.
Overall you could consider our attempt to go overseas a failure. We did not achieve what we had originally set out to do. Our service in Haiti was no longer needed and we lost our money on the tickets. In the end it was a blessing that we could not get overseas. The team had contracted a rare jungle fever and ended up being quarantined because of their illness. The trip on the cruise could be viewed many ways. When I tell most people I get a sense that we we’re selfish for our choice, but deep down I know that i learned more in that one week than I have the whole year. I learned the importance of giving yourself grace, being nice to others and taking time to relax. I haven’t been myself in such a long time and for the first time in a solid year I felt alive again. I felt able to relax without the stress of daily life clouding my vision. We met people that I have a feeling will stick with us and change us for a lifetime. Sometimes when you have expectations for your life you have to realize that they are not always what is best for you. Being in control can get exhausting and when you let your guard down God has a tendency of lovingly surprising you, you just got to let him lead you to your destiny. Oh and a side note; the name of the ship was “the destiny.” Ironic? I don’t think so.