Planning trips are a lot of fun. As a society we are obsessed with planning for the future. We plan for what we are going to do tomorrow, next week, and start save for retirment as soon as we start working.
We are a generation of opportunists who see taking time to enjoy each day is wasted time better spent doing something productive. If you think about how much time we take to plan it makes you wonder how much of your life you are really living in that moment. How many times do you plan for an event and once it gets there you're already planning the next? Sound farmiliar? It sounds way too farmiliar to me.
I love to plan. I make lists all the time of things i need to do or future dates i dont want to forget.Planning is apart of our society and uniqly apart of my personality. I enjoy looking to the future and imagining what my life will be like in 5 or 10 years. I think of my future goals i want to meet and how i plan to accomplish them.
The main point being, much of my time is focused on the future. I live constantly looking towards where i want to be, rather than where im actually at. Moving has given me a whrilwind of emotions to sort through. My months of planning to move here finally ceased and i was met with reality. This very moment and this very place is what all my hard work and planning had gotten me.
Since being here I have wresstled with living in the moment and not needing another plan or another adventure to take my mind off the hard things i've gone through. I find myself wanting to move, find a different school, graduate sooner, get another job, make more money, ect.. the list could go on and on. But the list can always go on until you make a decision to stop the longing for what you dont have. We can all want things we dont have, we can wish that everything we planned for turned out perfectly and that they would bring us an abundent joy and instantaneous success. Unfortunatly plans arnn't perfect, and they only work if we follow through with them.
I have a weakness that is hard to admit. I tend to run, or plan a new adventure when the going gets rough. In my mind planning is a an exciting build up for the reality of whats to come. When you get there you realize that sometimes the grass isn't as green as you'd once envisioned it was.
Isn't it true that you can make a situation appear more desirable in our heads when our minds are set that is te "rigt" option? You can make yourself believe that moving away or making another plan will be the best option. You can even convince yourself that you will be happier, more succussful, and struggle less in this new place. Althoug, i've learned that happiness is not based on your location, success is what you make it, and your struggles will follow you wherever you go until you deal with them.
Plans are great. To this day i still love to day dream, make lists and look foward to commitments weeks in advace. Through it all though im learning that when you obsess about where you want to be and not about where you are you will never be happy. You will always be chasing a glimpse of what you think could make you joyful.
I dont want to chase that green grass forever. As hard as it is i want to deal with my struggles and not run. Sometimes taking a break and living for today, right now, wherever your at is good enough. Yes, i want to graduate sooner, make more money, live on my own, not struggle with anxiety or self control..but im not there yet.. and thats okay.
Im learning that maybe the real adventure could be in staying?
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tic Tok
No, im not reffering to the popular song by Keesha played on the radio, although catchy it's not my point out of this blog.
Time goes by in an ever present moving motion. You can't stop time. As much as all of us would like to think we can savor it we can't escape the fact that no matter how we spend it time seems to slip through our fingers.
Time has become a pressing issue for me in these last few months. Time gives you a choice,what you do with it and how you spend it is up to you. many of us spend it doing things we enjoy, with the people we love and care about. If you dont have time with someone how can you truley know them? Time is also an interesting subject when it comes to the type of time you spend with someone. If you use your time wisely you can really get to know another person on a deep and intimate level. Time doesn't stop just becasue you choose to not use it in the most productive ways, move away or dont see someone for an extended period of time. Trying to get to know someone in a pressed time span limits your ability to feel free and pressures you to the point of exhaustion.
It is impossible to stop time, but somehow..sometimes it would be nice to stall it. When we are faced with decisions that could possibly determine yours and others future it would be beneficial to stall time, clear your hea,d and magically imagine your life in both future situations. Although impossible, the thought of being able to see into the future without being pressed by deadlines, and having others feelings on the line would be freeing.
Since this isn't the case time can be well spent with good advice, time to yourself, and a lot of reflection. I have taken time to do a lot of things in my life. I took time off school and ended up learing i wish i hadn't. Although, it could be called wasted time i see it more as time that got me to where i am today. Im happy with that place although scary and unpreditable it has gotten me to know that time is not the enemy, wasting it is.
Time goes by in an ever present moving motion. You can't stop time. As much as all of us would like to think we can savor it we can't escape the fact that no matter how we spend it time seems to slip through our fingers.
Time has become a pressing issue for me in these last few months. Time gives you a choice,what you do with it and how you spend it is up to you. many of us spend it doing things we enjoy, with the people we love and care about. If you dont have time with someone how can you truley know them? Time is also an interesting subject when it comes to the type of time you spend with someone. If you use your time wisely you can really get to know another person on a deep and intimate level. Time doesn't stop just becasue you choose to not use it in the most productive ways, move away or dont see someone for an extended period of time. Trying to get to know someone in a pressed time span limits your ability to feel free and pressures you to the point of exhaustion.
It is impossible to stop time, but somehow..sometimes it would be nice to stall it. When we are faced with decisions that could possibly determine yours and others future it would be beneficial to stall time, clear your hea,d and magically imagine your life in both future situations. Although impossible, the thought of being able to see into the future without being pressed by deadlines, and having others feelings on the line would be freeing.
Since this isn't the case time can be well spent with good advice, time to yourself, and a lot of reflection. I have taken time to do a lot of things in my life. I took time off school and ended up learing i wish i hadn't. Although, it could be called wasted time i see it more as time that got me to where i am today. Im happy with that place although scary and unpreditable it has gotten me to know that time is not the enemy, wasting it is.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
You know your in Chicago when..
1.) You hear sirens at night and they put you to sleep
2.) You leave 2 hours early to get anywhere
3.)Your hands, toes, and face all feel like they are going to fall off
4.)You wear a coat and scarf indoors
5.) You can order any type of food and have it delivered to your house in no time
6.)You dont go outside from December-April
7.)You car freezes. doors, wipers, handle, key lock..you name it!
8.)You pay more in parking and tickets than in actual rent
9.)Your horn gets put to good use on the road
10.)You have to learn how to pump your own gas
11.)You pay 11% for sales tax
12.)You have bruises on both hips from slipping on the ice
13.)You realize that deep dis pizza is incredibly delicious
14.)You gain at least 10lbs.
15.)You carry your mase anywhere you walk
16.)Sports become the center of your world
17.) Your forced to choose..white soxs or cubs?
18.) You get introduced to some of the best food around
19.) Everything you could ever want is within a 4 mile radius of your house
20.) You start saying your "A's" with an accent
21.) You see a Dounkin Donuts on every corner
22.) You find yourself hoping you'll run into Oprah downtown!
23.) Wen you see a green tree or a field it's a rare occurance
24.) You can Yelp review anything
25.)Birds fly at your head in the city!
26.) People fall asleep on you on the train
27.) People are passionate about their pizza
28.) Dogs wear sweaters and little shoes
29.) Everyone seems to be in a rush to be in a rush to get anywhere
30.) You gag when you drink the tap water
31.) You (me) are a minority
32.) Getting anywhere takes patientce
33.) People love their Groupon
34.) You never run out of new and interesting smells
35.) You learn to bundle up
36.) There is no such thing as free parking
37.) people walk around with coats that resemble blankets that are down to their toes
38.) You start walking like you have a place to be
39.)You get used to not having a yard
40.) You see bulding taller than mountains
41.)You learn to ail a taxi
42.)You buy starbucks just to have something warm to hold
..more to come!
2.) You leave 2 hours early to get anywhere
3.)Your hands, toes, and face all feel like they are going to fall off
4.)You wear a coat and scarf indoors
5.) You can order any type of food and have it delivered to your house in no time
6.)You dont go outside from December-April
7.)You car freezes. doors, wipers, handle, key lock..you name it!
8.)You pay more in parking and tickets than in actual rent
9.)Your horn gets put to good use on the road
10.)You have to learn how to pump your own gas
11.)You pay 11% for sales tax
12.)You have bruises on both hips from slipping on the ice
13.)You realize that deep dis pizza is incredibly delicious
14.)You gain at least 10lbs.
15.)You carry your mase anywhere you walk
16.)Sports become the center of your world
17.) Your forced to choose..white soxs or cubs?
18.) You get introduced to some of the best food around
19.) Everything you could ever want is within a 4 mile radius of your house
20.) You start saying your "A's" with an accent
21.) You see a Dounkin Donuts on every corner
22.) You find yourself hoping you'll run into Oprah downtown!
23.) Wen you see a green tree or a field it's a rare occurance
24.) You can Yelp review anything
25.)Birds fly at your head in the city!
26.) People fall asleep on you on the train
27.) People are passionate about their pizza
28.) Dogs wear sweaters and little shoes
29.) Everyone seems to be in a rush to be in a rush to get anywhere
30.) You gag when you drink the tap water
31.) You (me) are a minority
32.) Getting anywhere takes patientce
33.) People love their Groupon
34.) You never run out of new and interesting smells
35.) You learn to bundle up
36.) There is no such thing as free parking
37.) people walk around with coats that resemble blankets that are down to their toes
38.) You start walking like you have a place to be
39.)You get used to not having a yard
40.) You see bulding taller than mountains
41.)You learn to ail a taxi
42.)You buy starbucks just to have something warm to hold
..more to come!
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Expectations
I've started to notice something as i grow older, we all have expectations. We set them for ourselves, for others and for our lives. These can be very good things giving us direction and cultivating a drive to succeed but they can also set us up for a lot of dissapointment. Im learning that these are not bad things if you are able to put them in perspective but when you set your sights on something and dont achieve it maybe your expectations need to be shifted to think of things slightly differently. Setting goals is more like what i would like to do. My expectations for moving to chicago, going to school, and getting a job have been dramatically different than what i envisioned in my head. I dreamed that coming here would be easy, i would find a job right away and i would adjust no problem. This hasn't been the case. My school situation feel through in a way i didn't expect, my job situations thankfully happened very part-time and i haven't made the great friends i expected. My relationship with my family is hard being long-distance and i found out that long distance relationships don't allow you to really get to know someone. All that said im working on shifting my focus on expectations and knowing that when they aren't met it's becasue you have usually set them on the wrong things.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
A daily thought
Life is all about give and take. As I grow older I realize that everything and anyone you encounter comes with good parts and bad. Learning to live a life where you embrace the good and deal with the bad allows you to find contentment in your location or in who you surround yourself with. Life is far from perfect and living in Chicago I have traded many of the comforts in Portland for a much busier way of life. This is not necessarily a good or a bad thing, rather it’s a matter of the perspective you take. Where you are is only a location, but the way you handle it is what really shows who you are and what your made of.
Being in this new place I have traded a yard, free parking spots, smooth moving traffic and the my safe small hometown for concrete, parallel parking (Which come with massive parking tickets if done wrong), traffic like I’ve never seen, and a city filled with people from all over the world. The diversity, loud noises, and fast paced society I am now emerged in are so foreign to my norm of growing up. I am starting to realize the value of money, the hardships that come along with living independently and how incredibly sheltered I had been living in my secluded suburbia home. I gave up some of the things I love to be in a place with more opportunities, restaurants on every corner, eclectic downtown life, and a bright urban skyline that lights up the night beautifully.
I am living in the third largest city in the United States and although I would rather not be here forever I have to settle in and put down roots. If I don’t, I fear that I will always be living for what will happen in the future and not whats happening right here and now. I am happy and content for the first time in where God has me in this chapter of my life. I know that for some crazy reason I am meant to be here and I will be open to what my purpose is while I embrace this new time in my life. I heard a sermon on how important it is to know your purpose for living in a city. In the bible in mentions the importance people have in a large city. Over 51% of our world lives in the urban communities and that number continues to grow. If we could bring about change and reformation our society would be dramatically changed. If you start to enact a change in the places that set trends, house the most people and are culturally diverse and secular other places will follow the lead. Among the chaos of this place you can’t help but notice the beautifully different people that live here. Each person has a story to tell and God deeply loves and wants to bring them into a place of peace and show his love to them. I want to love God by loving his people, he has placed me in a place where I get to do that.
Each day I find something I could resent about Chicago and wish I were back home where I knew what to expect. Although I miss my home I am choosing to embrace the differences of this new place and learn to love them at the same time. Learning to do this with my location will help me in all areas. Embracing the differences with others and learning to work with them can create amazing harmony if done with love. I want to do the same thing in this town.
Recognizing all the amazing advantages I have here will keep my mind focused on putting down roots and being okay with where God directs my paths. He seems to have me learning some very important lessons lately. I am finally understanding the value of being frugal with money, parking responsibly, loving people deeper and knowing its okay to have weaknesses. This won’t last forever; nothing ever does so in the time being I want to live for the moment, I want to live in my city.
Being in this new place I have traded a yard, free parking spots, smooth moving traffic and the my safe small hometown for concrete, parallel parking (Which come with massive parking tickets if done wrong), traffic like I’ve never seen, and a city filled with people from all over the world. The diversity, loud noises, and fast paced society I am now emerged in are so foreign to my norm of growing up. I am starting to realize the value of money, the hardships that come along with living independently and how incredibly sheltered I had been living in my secluded suburbia home. I gave up some of the things I love to be in a place with more opportunities, restaurants on every corner, eclectic downtown life, and a bright urban skyline that lights up the night beautifully.
I am living in the third largest city in the United States and although I would rather not be here forever I have to settle in and put down roots. If I don’t, I fear that I will always be living for what will happen in the future and not whats happening right here and now. I am happy and content for the first time in where God has me in this chapter of my life. I know that for some crazy reason I am meant to be here and I will be open to what my purpose is while I embrace this new time in my life. I heard a sermon on how important it is to know your purpose for living in a city. In the bible in mentions the importance people have in a large city. Over 51% of our world lives in the urban communities and that number continues to grow. If we could bring about change and reformation our society would be dramatically changed. If you start to enact a change in the places that set trends, house the most people and are culturally diverse and secular other places will follow the lead. Among the chaos of this place you can’t help but notice the beautifully different people that live here. Each person has a story to tell and God deeply loves and wants to bring them into a place of peace and show his love to them. I want to love God by loving his people, he has placed me in a place where I get to do that.
Each day I find something I could resent about Chicago and wish I were back home where I knew what to expect. Although I miss my home I am choosing to embrace the differences of this new place and learn to love them at the same time. Learning to do this with my location will help me in all areas. Embracing the differences with others and learning to work with them can create amazing harmony if done with love. I want to do the same thing in this town.
Recognizing all the amazing advantages I have here will keep my mind focused on putting down roots and being okay with where God directs my paths. He seems to have me learning some very important lessons lately. I am finally understanding the value of being frugal with money, parking responsibly, loving people deeper and knowing its okay to have weaknesses. This won’t last forever; nothing ever does so in the time being I want to live for the moment, I want to live in my city.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Its a new year!!!
Looking at 2010 in retrospect i want to embrace 2011 with open arms. Many people around this time make their new years resoulation lists. They set their hearts on making them stick and then forget about them a month or two later. This year i have decided against resolutions, and decided to make goals that will hopefully become more permanent overall. 2010 is a year that became much more clear in looking back on. I wasn't the least bit sad to see it go, but i know that i would not have asked for it to be any easier either. The hardships and the pain lead me to where i am now. It was a lot of days full of broken dreams, unfufilled desires and hearache, but each dream lost was another opportunity opening up. If i would have never gone home from college, tried to travel on mission trips, and eventually moved back home i wouldn't be living in Chicago.
It's crazy to think what all can change in a year. Life moves way too fast and it makes me realize that if you dont appriciate the people in your life and each day you have for what it is, eventually you will always find yourself living in retrospect always wondering what you could have done differently. This year i want to love fully, appriciate my family and friends deeper, work harder and love myself more. I want to live without fear or regulations on myself. I want to laugh more than i have before and work towards graduating college. I am ready for a new year and a fresh start. Aren't we all?
It's crazy to think what all can change in a year. Life moves way too fast and it makes me realize that if you dont appriciate the people in your life and each day you have for what it is, eventually you will always find yourself living in retrospect always wondering what you could have done differently. This year i want to love fully, appriciate my family and friends deeper, work harder and love myself more. I want to live without fear or regulations on myself. I want to laugh more than i have before and work towards graduating college. I am ready for a new year and a fresh start. Aren't we all?
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