Planning trips are a lot of fun. As a society we are obsessed with planning for the future. We plan for what we are going to do tomorrow, next week, and start save for retirment as soon as we start working.
We are a generation of opportunists who see taking time to enjoy each day is wasted time better spent doing something productive. If you think about how much time we take to plan it makes you wonder how much of your life you are really living in that moment. How many times do you plan for an event and once it gets there you're already planning the next? Sound farmiliar? It sounds way too farmiliar to me.
I love to plan. I make lists all the time of things i need to do or future dates i dont want to forget.Planning is apart of our society and uniqly apart of my personality. I enjoy looking to the future and imagining what my life will be like in 5 or 10 years. I think of my future goals i want to meet and how i plan to accomplish them.
The main point being, much of my time is focused on the future. I live constantly looking towards where i want to be, rather than where im actually at. Moving has given me a whrilwind of emotions to sort through. My months of planning to move here finally ceased and i was met with reality. This very moment and this very place is what all my hard work and planning had gotten me.
Since being here I have wresstled with living in the moment and not needing another plan or another adventure to take my mind off the hard things i've gone through. I find myself wanting to move, find a different school, graduate sooner, get another job, make more money, ect.. the list could go on and on. But the list can always go on until you make a decision to stop the longing for what you dont have. We can all want things we dont have, we can wish that everything we planned for turned out perfectly and that they would bring us an abundent joy and instantaneous success. Unfortunatly plans arnn't perfect, and they only work if we follow through with them.
I have a weakness that is hard to admit. I tend to run, or plan a new adventure when the going gets rough. In my mind planning is a an exciting build up for the reality of whats to come. When you get there you realize that sometimes the grass isn't as green as you'd once envisioned it was.
Isn't it true that you can make a situation appear more desirable in our heads when our minds are set that is te "rigt" option? You can make yourself believe that moving away or making another plan will be the best option. You can even convince yourself that you will be happier, more succussful, and struggle less in this new place. Althoug, i've learned that happiness is not based on your location, success is what you make it, and your struggles will follow you wherever you go until you deal with them.
Plans are great. To this day i still love to day dream, make lists and look foward to commitments weeks in advace. Through it all though im learning that when you obsess about where you want to be and not about where you are you will never be happy. You will always be chasing a glimpse of what you think could make you joyful.
I dont want to chase that green grass forever. As hard as it is i want to deal with my struggles and not run. Sometimes taking a break and living for today, right now, wherever your at is good enough. Yes, i want to graduate sooner, make more money, live on my own, not struggle with anxiety or self control..but im not there yet.. and thats okay.
Im learning that maybe the real adventure could be in staying?
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